Thanks!
One of the many problems was I didn't have the old phone to copy its data. Goggle wouldn't give me my own Gmail address because it already existed.
This created a cascade effect where every site and app (including my carrier) wouldn't let me sign in because my new Gmail address wasn't their address on file and/or they sent codes to the old Gmail address and I can't access it.
My new phone is still logged out of about half of the sites I visit.
The would be (hopefully) engineer said it's "a very sensitive thing to change phones."
It's not that sensitive. Wow.
