Why does this bother me so much?

[Cindysphinx]

Once the baby arrives, the plan is to hire "one of those Chinese grandmothers" who will do everything for the first three months.

Dad will not be taking on the role of caretaker, that's for sure.

I don't buy that this is motivated by a feeling that it will hurt her career to be pregnant. Her employer is so progressive that they pay part of the costs of surrogacy. Back in my day, ambitious women worked through pregnancy and were back to work in 2 weeks. Couples take that much time off for a wedding and honeymoon.

[pique]

The child is not a person but an accessory. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that they are doing this because all their friends are having children and it is considered aspirational. It reminds me a bit of a wealthy woman I know--a contemporary--who would do anything to have her own biological child, but had no interest in adoption. She also had no interest in children, period. Unable to have one of her own, you'd think she'd adopt a dog, but no. Because it isn't about loving and being loved. It's about fitting in, hitting all your markers, and leading the kind of life your friends will be envious of.

[pique]

@ShiroKuro said in Why does this bother me so much?:

it's probably the case that being pregnant would be much less disruptive to the mother than actually being a parent will be for both of them.

Precisely. I think you hit the nail on the head.

[Mik]

@Bernard said in Why does this bother me so much?:

@Mik I think you are making assumptions about people you don't know. It is/was not uncommon to have wet nurses, nannies, governesses, etc. caring for children, especially among the wealthy. For all we know, this woman may be a wonderfully loving mother to her child.

I see no reason from their own words to believe that.

[Daniel.]

I don't either. On the contrary, thinking of a fetus as an alien? Who does that?

[Axtremus]

1. Choice of method aside, at least this couple is willing to have and raise a child. Not all bad given this society's way below-replacement fertility rate.

2. Somebody should talk to them about adoption.

[pique]

@Axtremus why would you think it desireable for the earth to have more people? We are still grossly overpopulated when you consider how many species are going extinct at a rapidly accelerating rate and that the earth is also rapidly being stripped of the resources to sustain life. We do not need more people. If the human race died out entirely it would give the planet a much-needed respite from our destructiveness.

[pique]

As to your second point: adopting an older child in foster care would be a great idea--that people like this would never do.

[Mik]

@pique said in Why does this bother me so much?:

@Axtremus why would you think it desireable for the earth to have more people? We are still grossly overpopulated when you consider how many species are going extinct at a rapidly accelerating rate and that the earth is also rapidly being stripped of the resources to sustain life. We do not need more people. If the human race died out entirely it would give the planet a much-needed respite from our destructiveness.

Yes, but the FORUMS, Pique - think of the forums that would die!

[CHAS]

Reminds me of the parents of the Columbine killers.