Why does this bother me so much?
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They will have a nanny and another child will grow up cared for physically and abandoned emotionally.
@Mik said in Why does this bother me so much?:
They will have a nanny and another child will grow up cared for physically and abandoned emotionally.
Yes, this is the concern, isn't it. Given the focus on work....
In fact, it's probably the case that being pregnant would be much less disruptive to the mother than actually being a parent will be for both of them.
It's just ridiculous to think you can have a child without it fundamentally altering every part of your life.
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They will have a nanny and another child will grow up cared for physically and abandoned emotionally.
@Mik I think you are making assumptions about people you don't know. It is/was not uncommon to have wet nurses, nannies, governesses, etc. caring for children, especially among the wealthy. For all we know, this woman may be a wonderfully loving mother to her child.
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Once the baby arrives, the plan is to hire "one of those Chinese grandmothers" who will do everything for the first three months.
Dad will not be taking on the role of caretaker, that's for sure.
I don't buy that this is motivated by a feeling that it will hurt her career to be pregnant. Her employer is so progressive that they pay part of the costs of surrogacy. Back in my day, ambitious women worked through pregnancy and were back to work in 2 weeks. Couples take that much time off for a wedding and honeymoon.
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The child is not a person but an accessory. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that they are doing this because all their friends are having children and it is considered aspirational. It reminds me a bit of a wealthy woman I know--a contemporary--who would do anything to have her own biological child, but had no interest in adoption. She also had no interest in children, period. Unable to have one of her own, you'd think she'd adopt a dog, but no. Because it isn't about loving and being loved. It's about fitting in, hitting all your markers, and leading the kind of life your friends will be envious of.
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@Mik said in Why does this bother me so much?:
They will have a nanny and another child will grow up cared for physically and abandoned emotionally.
Yes, this is the concern, isn't it. Given the focus on work....
In fact, it's probably the case that being pregnant would be much less disruptive to the mother than actually being a parent will be for both of them.
It's just ridiculous to think you can have a child without it fundamentally altering every part of your life.
@ShiroKuro said in Why does this bother me so much?:
it's probably the case that being pregnant would be much less disruptive to the mother than actually being a parent will be for both of them.
Precisely. I think you hit the nail on the head.
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@Mik I think you are making assumptions about people you don't know. It is/was not uncommon to have wet nurses, nannies, governesses, etc. caring for children, especially among the wealthy. For all we know, this woman may be a wonderfully loving mother to her child.
@Bernard said in Why does this bother me so much?:
@Mik I think you are making assumptions about people you don't know. It is/was not uncommon to have wet nurses, nannies, governesses, etc. caring for children, especially among the wealthy. For all we know, this woman may be a wonderfully loving mother to her child.
I see no reason from their own words to believe that.
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Choice of method aside, at least this couple is willing to have and raise a child. Not all bad given this society's way below-replacement fertility rate.
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Somebody should talk to them about adoption.
@Axtremus why would you think it desireable for the earth to have more people? We are still grossly overpopulated when you consider how many species are going extinct at a rapidly accelerating rate and that the earth is also rapidly being stripped of the resources to sustain life. We do not need more people. If the human race died out entirely it would give the planet a much-needed respite from our destructiveness.
fear is the thief of dreams
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@Axtremus why would you think it desireable for the earth to have more people? We are still grossly overpopulated when you consider how many species are going extinct at a rapidly accelerating rate and that the earth is also rapidly being stripped of the resources to sustain life. We do not need more people. If the human race died out entirely it would give the planet a much-needed respite from our destructiveness.
@pique said in Why does this bother me so much?:
@Axtremus why would you think it desireable for the earth to have more people? We are still grossly overpopulated when you consider how many species are going extinct at a rapidly accelerating rate and that the earth is also rapidly being stripped of the resources to sustain life. We do not need more people. If the human race died out entirely it would give the planet a much-needed respite from our destructiveness.
Yes, but the FORUMS, Pique - think of the forums that would die!
