Dementia is a cruel condition.
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My Mother in law.
I might have mentioned this but she went down the dark path of dementia and she was living with us in 2016 until the beginning of 2020.
She was at an assisted living facility until March of this year when they gave her a 30 day notice of eviction to their memory care facility which was $12k per month.
We prepared a room for her here at the house. New carpet, paint, new bedroom set including bed, recliner, dresser and nightstand. It was our "Master Bedroom for the past 28 years. We also renovated my daughters bedroom and moved into the acual "master beddrom". All of our daughters called it their room at one time or another over the 26 years that they lived here at home.
Taking care of a loved one with severe dementia is exhausting, physically and mentally. It was one of the hardest tasks I have ever participated in over the course of my 63 years on this rock.
Sarah, (Mrs Mark) did an incredible job once again taking over the role of primary caregiver. We had mom here for about 3 months and it seemed that we were living in a "Groundhog Day" movie scenario. That's what we called it anyway. Mom was stuck in a world that made no sense to her. She could never grasp the concept of her location, even in the house. She called Sarah, "mommy" heck, she called me "mommy" too.
We called the local ADRC office and made an appointment to have them visit and meet Maxine and us and to assess her current condition. Hospice was recommended as she was starting to decline pretty quickly.
She moved out on June 6 and into a wonderful memory care facility which was far more "affordable" at $7,500 per month.
She was there less than a month and died yesterday early evening.
Maxine was 80 years old.
Rest in peace, Mom.
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I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, @Mark . My most heartfelt condolences to you. Maxine was so lucky to have Sarah and you to care for her when she could no longer care for herself. It is exhausting in every way. What a remarkable gift to her.
You guys take care of yourselves.
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I’m very sorry, Mark.
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I’m sorry. It is sad and exhausting. My father died of it. He lasted 3 months in memory care and he went out angry and violent. My mother is currently in memory care, she’s been there for over two years. I wish I could say it was a wonderful place to be but it’s not. It’s safe. My mom hates it.
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I'm so sorry, Mark. My dad died of dementia complications, and my FIL just died in hospice after five years with my sister in law as his primary caregiver. The cost is insane, and the toll on caregivers is enormous. I wish we would recognize this as a society and help each other out. Take care of yourselves.
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Heartbreaking. A grandparent on each side suffered from dementia. I met a very intelligent elderly man at a party recently who had many stories, but could not find the words he needed in order to tell them.
She was lucky to have such a devoted family around her during this devastating progression. May your memories of her earlier life comfort you, and may you find the peace you and Sarah deserve.
