It gets worse

[Daniel.]

My father didn't have a new will written leaving his 1985 will as his last will and testament.

My sister being deceased, my brother and I inherit the estate in half shares.

I assumed my father had a newer will leaving everything to my brother.

The MetLife policy started as a life insurance policy and was converted to annuities when MetLife went public. It lists no beneficiary.

The estate my cousin wants reopened is my mother's estate. My father's estate hasn't closed.

My mother's will had a boilerplate clause saying I would inherit nothing for reasons best known to her.

My brother will probably inherit the MetLife policy.

On the other hand, he's taking the house and will have to buy me out.

This explains why my cousin has the ability to send me money directly from the estate.

My father's will actually did set up trusts for the three of us. It's awful but all of the trustees are deceased.

We were to inherit if and only if our mother predeceased him or died at the same time.

I don't know why none of this was explained to me by my cousin months ago but maybe she assumed I knew it.

My brother, for his part, would like to inherit everything, from what I can tell.

[AndyD]

You'd think Wills were simple to write; it seems not. My wife's parents, and her elder sister, all barristers, all three died leaving a ****ing mess.

Ours are consequently very simple, daughters get half each. It's all been discussed, and letters of wishes for executors written detailing accounts and items of value.

I hope things get better for you Daniel.

[Mik]

It's easy to mess up. My dad's will was simple enough - all three of us share and share alike. What he did NOT document though was all the conflicting promises he had made to various parties. That was a minefield I had to clear.

[AndyD]

Yup, minefield; knowing and loving my two sisters, I immediately sold them my third of our parents house; and, given they had cared for mum 24/7/365 for the last two years of her life so she could live in her home to her last day, offered them first and second choices of any furniture, crockery etc.

Over seven years later and we have still not sat down to divide mum & dad's jewellery...I'm guessing it's something to do with finality. I'd write a letter of complaint to the Executors, but they are...
My sisters

Younger sister moved back in, wanting to modernise and extend, while older sister wanted to preserve it almost as a museum. Work starts this summer. Probably.

Took six years for my sisters, bless'em, to decide on and erect a celtic cross gravestone.
By then we'd had two of my wooden crosses roughly carved with
'Mum & Dad'
Yet, a year later Mum's ashes-urn are still in the front bedroom. WTF?

I've half a mind to ask that my ashes are spread surreptitiously on the top of Mt Fuji 🤭