It gets worse
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My father didn't have a new will written leaving his 1985 will as his last will and testament.
My sister being deceased, my brother and I inherit the estate in half shares.
I assumed my father had a newer will leaving everything to my brother.
The MetLife policy started as a life insurance policy and was converted to annuities when MetLife went public. It lists no beneficiary.
The estate my cousin wants reopened is my mother's estate. My father's estate hasn't closed.
My mother's will had a boilerplate clause saying I would inherit nothing for reasons best known to her.
My brother will probably inherit the MetLife policy.
On the other hand, he's taking the house and will have to buy me out.
This explains why my cousin has the ability to send me money directly from the estate.
My father's will actually did set up trusts for the three of us. It's awful but all of the trustees are deceased.
We were to inherit if and only if our mother predeceased him or died at the same time.
I don't know why none of this was explained to me by my cousin months ago but maybe she assumed I knew it.
My brother, for his part, would like to inherit everything, from what I can tell.
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You'd think Wills were simple to write; it seems not. My wife's parents, and her elder sister, all barristers, all three died leaving a ****ing mess.
Ours are consequently very simple, daughters get half each. It's all been discussed, and letters of wishes for executors written detailing accounts and items of value.
I hope things get better for you Daniel.
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Yup, minefield; knowing and loving my two sisters, I immediately sold them my third of our parents house; and, given they had cared for mum 24/7/365 for the last two years of her life so she could live in her home to her last day, offered them first and second choices of any furniture, crockery etc.
Over seven years later and we have still not sat down to divide mum & dad's jewellery...I'm guessing it's something to do with finality. I'd write a letter of complaint to the Executors, but they are...
My sisters
Younger sister moved back in, wanting to modernise and extend, while older sister wanted to preserve it almost as a museum. Work starts this summer. Probably.
Took six years for my sisters, bless'em, to decide on and erect a celtic cross gravestone.
By then we'd had two of my wooden crosses roughly carved with
'Mum & Dad'
Yet, a year later Mum's ashes-urn are still in the front bedroom. WTF?I've half a mind to ask that my ashes are spread surreptitiously on the top of Mt Fuji 🤭
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Andy, thank you. I didn't expect to need to deal with any of this but I was naive looking back on it.
Mik, yes. It has been my experience several times both participating now for the fourth time and watching events unfold once that had nothing to do with me that you probably won't lose if you bet on a mess happening.
People say different things to different people and the fact you can make your own wishes as a probable beneficiary known doesn't mean people won't do what they're going to do and not do what they're not going to do...
Add to this, these are sensitive matters and it's not always possible to have conversations about them.
Add to this the primal instinct for survival.
Finally, everyone has an individual perspective.
My brother is a good example.
He's been communicating with me as if requests made and conversation had are legally binding.
I've been speaking to my cousin. I haven't spoken to my brother in a month.
I was angry when my uncle kept his mother's apartment attached to his house as a rental. His mother had promised it to my aunt. They got into a shouting match and he told her she could look at the deed.
He honored the deal he and my father made with my aunt. She lived in LA for 33 years and when her cancer became terminal, my father and uncle's wife flew to LA and bought her back to the family homestead to live for the last six months of her life.
She wasn't allowed to live in her mother's apartment "because it was rented." So get rid of the tenant, legally as would be possible in HI or pay them to move.
She wasn't allowed to bring her cat.
When she could no longer walk up and down the stairs to her childhood bedroom, they put a bed on the screen porch, not in the formal living room.
My uncle had at that time and his heirs have five rental apartments.
I thought the way my uncle treated my aunt was unnecessary.
At least he sent her money in LA and moved her home.
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When properties are bequeathed to a number of people but someone is living there... problems.
A house bequeathed in the mid 1970's to 4... one cousin living two doors down the road with his family(50% ownership) wanted to sell, the other three owners living in the house (close unmarried sisters sharing the other 50%) were pestered by him to sell up for nearly four decades but they refused; and chose to live there until they died, all octogarians. Good for them, it was their home. He had a lovely house and put his 3 children through the most expensive private schooling, so why be so nasty?
Money. Want it all, want it now, feel entitled.You're right about wishes Daniel. Even written on a note. An aunt of mine left five dated & signed notes which her executors tried to fulfill as best as possible along with her watertight solicitor-witnessed and executed LWT.
If you want it done then it has to be written, witnessed and signed as your law requires.
