Allow me to share an experience that illustrates why Dems are losing.
I have a colleague, someone I supervise. This person uses a female name; has a short but feminine haircut; has feminine features; dresses in an ordinary way (meaning no dresses, wears pants and shorts and shoes that many women would wear but not many men ).
This person uses they/them pronouns. When I inevitably refer to this person as she or her, I get an immediate public correction, after which i mumble "them, sorry." So it is my responsibility to check my read of this person's clear gender expression AND ignore my lifetime of the importance of subject/verb agreement. All so this person doesn't have to hear she or her.
I fully understand the thinking that got us here. We want to be inclusive, got it. But this is very different from the civil rights struggle. Sure, the preferred name for black people morphed every few years. But no one had to grapple with it every day, and it didn't violate the rules of grammar.
Bottom line: Our inclusivity is killing us. It has us insisting that people get pregnant, not women. That Trans girls should compete with his girls. That Spanish would be better with out gender. It is signaling to the whole country that we care only about being the language police than in the real problems facing us all individually and collectively.
I think there is room for the Dems to become the party that protects the little guy. Regular people get mistreated all the time, on matters big and small. Let's fix that.