I love being older. I definitely wouldn't go back in time and have to do everything I had to do to get here again. I also have no desire to live forever.
I don't even mind aging. I'm trying to be immodest but I've aged well especially given everything I've put my body through including both trauma and neglect. I look ten years younger than I am and have my whole adult life. It's just a fact. I have an intuitive real time knowledge of how women and men react to me. It's a survival mechanism I learned a long time ago.
The stress of the last eight years hasn't done me any favors but that's about to end.
But I hate the physical problems, and I hate dealing with the medical system!
I had the best PCP in Hawaii for seven years; she was a board certified internist, and we developed an affinity for one another, even though that's not something that's "supposed" to happen.
Since then, I've met only Doctors, including specialists, who are "phoning it in."
I need to take more control over my health. I'm hoping I'll have a better opportunity to do that after I move.

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️ the video.